NOTHING is incurable

Hello everyone – Well, I finally decided to break down and create a blog. I think that on some level I hoped this journey would be so quick and painless that a few emails would suffice. Alas, seven months into the process and we still have miles to go.

I wanted to give everyone an update since I’ve been back in Santa Fe and we’ve been focusing on a new path to healing.

My company has been very understanding and agreed to let me come home and work remotely the past couple of weeks so I could help get things going here with my mom.

Since I’ve been here things have been moving in a good direction, although we seem to be moving with baby steps. My mom is eating a lot, her mentation is getting better, her face and eyes look clearer, and she is much stronger. Additionally her mind/body connection seems to be improving and we’re noticing that in various ways. Our goal right now is to build up her strength and vitality and get her synapses firing so that her body can rid itself of the cancer and her mind can heal.

Here’s what we’ve been doing:

Acupuncture/Herbs
we found an amazing acupuncturist through an old friend of our family who has had miraculous results in clearing supposedly untreatable cancer from his body since he started seeing her. Cissy is based in Ashville, NC, but has a house here so she spends time here every 5 weeks or so. She also has an apprentice here in santa fe who is quite a good acupuncturist in his own right. Bill and I have both felt extremely hopeful since we’ve started seeing Cissy. She actually treats cancer through Chinese medicine and herbs and feels strongly that this IS treatable.

Bodywork /Healers/ Energy Work
My mom’s neck and shoulders have been very sore due to bad posture and probably lack of regular movement. After all, she’s used to yoga 4x week and now she’s relatively sedentary. We do try to take walks almost every day. We’ve been seeing a few different bodyworkers , massage, cranio-sacral, osteopathy. We’ve also been working with a couple of different healers and energy workers.

But truly there’s nothing like the love and support from me and Bill, as well as from all my mom’s friends and family to help keep her going. The outpouring of love and support continues to be amazing. My email list is up to almost 300 people.

This time for me has been a blessing and also very hard. It’s very difficult to see my mom in a debilitated state. It’s also hard to see a smart intellectual woman whose brain isn’t functioning as she’d like it to be. And, it’s wonderful for me to spend so much one-on-one time with my mom. I know how much my being here helps her. That cord between a mother and daughter is so incredibly strong.

We continue to have small gifts and miracles each day. And I believe that none of them are coincidences. My mother’s biological mother died when she was only 3 years old from polio. My mom has always wanted to know more about that family. Yesterday, we received an email from someone we had never met, nor heard of before who introduced herself as a member of our extended family. She sent us a family tree with close to 40 names on it, including our own. She sent us the marriage certificate of my grandfather and grandmother, as well as the WWI draft papers of my great grandfather. My mom was interested to hear all about the various people on the family tree and any info I had received. . It’s linking the family and coming full circle at an important time.

My parents’ rabbi came over to visit last week and brought us a book by a rabbi from LA named Harld M. Schulweis. . After she left, I opened the book of poems randomly to a page. The poem on the page I opened to is entitled “On the Miracle of Recovery”. Here is the second half of that poem:

When illness threatens song and laughter,
Casting its shadow over our promise;
When inner turbulence, bleak and painful
Murders all hope;
When fear, gray, foreboding,
Contracts the surge of human spirit,
I pray:
Give me spine, heart, and wisdom.
Open my eyes to see wonder
Open my ears to hear sounds.
Inhale through my nostrils new fragrance.
Walk with my own feet.
Open my mouth with thanksgiving.
Witness to every natural moment
That raises me from melancholy to transcendence.
Blessed the godliness present in all things and ways
Blessed the fortune that has enabled me to live in the midst of family,
To reach this day in the presence of friends,
With the benedictions of community.
Blessed the hidden miracles I daily uncover,
The renewal that helps me lift the stone from frightened heart.
Blessed the remembrance of yesterday’s remission
and tomorrow’s promise.
Blessed the gifts we exchange with each other
Morning, noon, and night.

And so with that I pray…..

I pray for the miracle of recovery
I pray that we all gain wisdom from this time
I pray that my mom’s healing is gentle and kind
I pray that each day becomes a little easier
I pray that my mom may let go of what no longer serves her
I pray that the cancer cells fall away as easily and delicately as spring blossoms from the trees
I know that my mom’s brain and body know exactly what to do to heal.
And I also know that NOTHING is incurable.