with hope

after much time, i'm finally sending another update regarding my mom's condition. unfortunately, i'm not writing with the greatest news. this past wednesday we received some news we weren't expecting nor hoping for. in a recent test done, there were malignant cells found in my mom's cerebral spinal fluid. several ct scans have been done and there is no mass, only cells from what we can tell. here are some of the details:

the shunt
two weeks ago, after noticing a significant downturn in my mom's cognition and functioning, we saw a neuro-surgeon who discovered that she had hydrocephalus. essentially this means that her ventricles weren't draining cerebral spinal fluid properly. when cs fluid is always circulating and keeps the brain "floating". when it builds up and doesn't drain properly it causes pressure to build up in the brain, resulting in swelling. this is not uncommon after brain surgery and radiation. after discovering this news, which actually, we were glad to hear, because it gave us some possible explanation for the change in her function, the neuro-surgeon inserted a shunt. a shunt is basically a tube that acts as a drain through the ventricles. the hope was that this would relieve the pressure and relieve the symptoms.

our hope is that the recent downturn in my mom's functioning is due to the hydrocephalus, which is being relieved by the shunt, but the benefits may not have yet been realized. Sometimes the shunt does not relieve the symptoms. the alternative is that the cancer cells may be affecting the meninges, the lining of the brain, which can cause decline in function also. it's impossible to know which it is currently, and This can not be detected by scanning.

treatment options
we have a few treatment options but are waiting to see how the coming week unfolds. the choices are iv chemo, intrathecal (administering directly into the ventricles) chemo, clinical trials (although we haven't found any yet), doing nothing and letting things take their course, or alternative forms of medicine. none of these options preclude us from doing any others. unfortunately, it's not clear how much good chemo would do at this point. what is difficult for the doctors is that my mom's case is very rare. there are very few cases like hers and there is no documentation of treatment plans in medical journals to follow. so a lot of this is a guessing game. her oncologist, dr. ampuero, is talking with docs at md anderson and johns hopkins to see if they have any thoughts. i've been doing lots of research on many different kinds of alternative medicine and healers.

the ups
the past several days my mom has been doing MUCH better. she's up and about, she's much more present, and she's eating like a horse, perhaps due to my cooking :). and each day we've noticed a small positive change in her cognition on some level. and dr. ampuero reminded us - "hey, this is laura glicken we're talking about. she lived 12 years after metastatic advanced stage 3 ovarian cancer. this is no regular woman. she surprised us once and she can do it again."

all of this is heartbreaking for me. my mother is my lifeline and i can't imagine my world without her in it. although i know that everything the doctors are saying right now isn't great, i also know that my mom isn't a statistic. she's an amazing woman with an incredible life force and a light that surrounds her. here's what else i know. miracles happen. i don't know how or why or when they happen, but they do. we've all heard of them and some of us, perhaps, have witnessed them. they are sometimes spontaneous. they are sometimes created by the power of love and prayer. they are sometimes created by the power of healers that work on levels we don't really understand.

i know that my mom is a powerful, amazing woman. i know that prayer and positive thought can do incredible things for healing.

instead of asking you to join me in my prayer today, i'll just ask that you reach inside of your core. whether you pray or not, please focus your deepest positive healing energies towards my mom. surround her with healing light, love and positive energy.

my prayer is simple. may my mother be healed and may her journey towards healing be graceful and kind.