getting ready for surgery in san francisco

it's friday morning. i'm sitting having coffee in my living room. it's nice to be home.

it's been a busy week, getting ready for the trip out here, meeting with the radiation oncologist, and meeting yesterday with docs here at UCSF.

the radiation oncologist in santa fe was great. he gave my mom an exam and spent a lot of time with us talking about options, etc. the truth is, all the possibilities are only just that until we really know what the tumor is like, how much dr. parsa gets out, etc.

wednesday
we flew out to san francisco. bill and i were pretty worried about how she might do on the plane with the change in pressure. she did great! no headaches. she and i sat and did the NYT crossword puzzle together. of course, she's much faster at it than I, but I managed to get a few words in there too. it was a beautiful clear day when we left and we were able to see the grand canyon very clearly out the window. it reminded me of when my mom and bill took a two week rafting trip down the grand a few years ago. it's a highlight in their travels, i believe.

once we landed we got my mom and bill all settled into andra's cozy house in berkeley and had a wonderful dinner together. andra and my mom have known each other since they were 10. my mom's maiden name is adelstein. andra made up a nickname for her when they were little "laura monda tonda addle diddle doodle noodle". today andra still calls her "mond" for short. i'm so thankful they are staying with andra and her husband bill. they are like family to me, and also to my mom. and it feels so good knowing that she is in such a nurturing comfortable place.

friday we met with dr. parsa, the surgeon and went to the pre-op "prepare clinic". the prepare clinic is where you go before surgery to get tests done, talk about anesthesia, etc., to make sure you are a candidate for surgery based on your overall health. of course, she passed with flying colors. dr. parsa is a wonderful man. we all got such a great feeling for him. not only is he a great surgeon, but he's also very human, caring and available. he understands what we're going through on a human level and can separate himself from the surgical side to listen to our questions, concerns, etc. basically we have no new news. he gave us the lowdown of how the surgery will go. he had to tell us all the scary possibilities of what "can" happen during surgery, but we all know those and he only told us because he's legally bound to do so. in general he says there is a less than 1% chance of a stroke, and very, very minimal chances of anything else. he gave us 3 scenarios for how the recovery might go. scenario 1, which is where we are hoping to be, the surgery is an A+. everything goes great. she's in ICU overnight, then moved to a regular room on tuesday where she'll be for another 2-3 days. scenario 2: surgery isn't quite as smooth. she's not responding quite as quickly, needs to stay in ICU for 48 hours, then moved to a regular room. scenario 3 is lots of complications, blah blah blah. i won't even go there, because none of us believe it's a likelihood.

so, here's hoping for A+.

everyone we met at UCSF has been wonderful and kind, from the technician who drew blood, to the nurse practitioner, to the surgeon, himself. we all feel really good about the decision we made to be here for this surgery.

we now have a couple of days off to spend time together and hopefully have a little fun.

sunday we'll go back to the hospital for a "stealth MRI". this is the MRI done right before surgery where they put little lifesaver looking stickers as markers on my mom's head to help guide the surgeon.

monday is D-day, or S-day as the case may be. we'll check in at 9 am. the surgery is scheduled for 11am. generally only one person is allowed to go up to the preop waiting area with a patient, but the nurse practioner was able to find one of the women who work in the surgical waiting area who assured us that both bill and i can be with her until they take her into the o.r. as i mentioned in my last email, the surgery will last 3-5 hours. they encourage us to leave the hospital. one of the nurses will call our cell phone every hour to give us updates on how everything is going. once dr. parsa is done, we'll receive a call to come back to speak with him. at that point my mom will either be brought to recovery or straight to an ICU bed. hopefully they'll have a bed for her in ICU right away. that way we'll be able to see her sooner. no family is allowed in the recovery room, which would mean we'd have to wait longer. once we speak with dr. parsa, we'll really know much more about next steps. until then we will take each day as it comes. i will do my best to stay in the present moment, enjoy my time with my mom, do something nice with her each day and find something to be grateful for along the way.

we will be calling a few people when she is out of surgery who will then spread the news. as soon as i am able, i'll send another update after the surgery.

my mom continues to do great. her spirits are high and she's being such a trooper. she's not complaining at all about all the poking and prodding and needles, etc. she truly is a remarkable woman with incredible strength.

so, please continue to keep her in your prayers. say some extra special prayers on monday around mid-day pacific time.

my prayer for today.

universe - please continue to keep my mom in your light.
please hold her in safety during the surgery.
please hold her in compassion and love
please wrap her in the cocoon of love, prayers, and support that so many around the world have offered.

may this surgery be effortless and smooth.
may dr. parsa remove every last bit of the tumor he possibly can
may my mom feel no pain and experience no hardship during this time
may she be held in all of our arms as she is cared for by dr. parsa.
may she wake up easily from anesthesia with no deficits whatsoever
may tuesday, dec. 11, 2007, be a new beginning for laura. a new day of being cancer free. a new day of being healthy and vital. a new day of walking with no imbalance. a new day with no short term memory loss. a new day to embrace the love and friendship of so many around her.
may she be healed emotionally and physically
and may the cancer be rid of her body so that we never, ever, ever, ever, ever have to go through this again.